...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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