I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
