Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
