i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
