I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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