But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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