And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
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well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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