I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.