Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  tweet Hawks Win!! tweet

  (847): View more from Illinois

  That's how twitter works, right?

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  (847): tweet Hawks Win!! tweet (847): That's how twitter works, right? http://tfl.nu/21xu
  Replies (12) Good night (1690) Bad night (1061)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My mom found a condom in my purse

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.

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  (513): My mom found a condom in my purse (513): Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse. http://tfl.nu/gxhf
  Replies (47) Good night (824) Bad night (4900)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  So we're fucking tonight?

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  (816): You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf. (1-816): So we're fucking tonight? http://tfl.nu/2x8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4583) Bad night (1438)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident

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  (615): all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident http://tfl.nu/nfc5
  Replies (11) Good night (938) Bad night (4587)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Man, jail baloney is awful.

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  (516): Man, jail baloney is awful. http://tfl.nu/9ubn
  Replies (33) Good night (1137) Bad night (4183)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor

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  (780): i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/zkix
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (543)
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  (530): View more from California

  .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.

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  (530): .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space. http://tfl.nu/f94k
  Replies (11) Good night (968) Bad night (1376)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you

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  (517): To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you http://tfl.nu/rkbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2241) Bad night (621)
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  (310): View more from California

  Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.

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  (310): Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch. http://tfl.nu/am85
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (422)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think that's a new house record

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  (253): I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat (1-253): I think that's a new house record http://tfl.nu/c3oi
  Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (375)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass

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  (630): Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass http://tfl.nu/dssk
  Replies (4) Good night (625) Bad night (442)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.

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  (912): I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there. http://tfl.nu/8rbi
  Replies (12) Good night (1651) Bad night (463)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention

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  (610): I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention http://tfl.nu/bnw5
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (383)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?

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  (913): speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall? http://tfl.nu/3y98
  Replies (1) Good night (822) Bad night (305)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up

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  (231): I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up http://tfl.nu/hchm
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (164)

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