Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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