Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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