Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
