god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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