I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
