I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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