I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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