did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
