I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
