I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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