Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
