I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
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I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
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I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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