real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
