Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
