Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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