oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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