Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
