New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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