who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i think i just lost a toe
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
