if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
