brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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