Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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