every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize