She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
