That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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