So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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