i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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