glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
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What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
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I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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