I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
