My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
