OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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