Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
