I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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