Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
