Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
