Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
