just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
