I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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