Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
