I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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