This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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