its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We need to get me chipped asap
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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