note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
