so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
