The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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