Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
