Me too!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
