Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this boner is exhausting
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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