It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
