I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
