omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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