I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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