We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
this hospital has no fireball
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
