you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
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I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
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If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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